Dear Patients

A letter to my past, present, and future patients:

Dear Patients,

During the past seven months as the Diabetes Support Specialist at the UPMC Shadyside Family Health Center, I have tried my best to prepare myself to be the health educator you deserve. I dream of being the right person in the right place at the right time for you to take those big steps towards improving your health. I want to be someone who not only understands your disease but also understands your situation.

But over time, one thing has become apparent. Despite the detail with which I could describe a “diabetes-friendly” diet, I do not understand what it’s like to worry about how each food that passes my lips will affect my blood sugar. Although I could show you step-by-step how to check your blood sugar with a finger prick, I cannot imagine what it’s like to have to do this several times a day. And, to the kind woman who asked, no, I do not understand what it’s like to have a smoking addiction, even when I absentmindedly say “I know how you feel.” I also cannot fathom what it’s like to be homeless, or to have multiple jobs and multiple kids, or to be unable to afford a bus ticket to the hospital, or to keep track of over 10 medications, or to not qualify for health insurance or get the job I want because my blood sugar is too high.

So how can I best help you? How can I fully empathize with your situation when it has never been at the forefront of my thoughts, worries, and fears? You possess something that I, and even doctors, ironically, don’t have: knowledge. You KNOW how rheumatoid arthritis feels at 4 o’clock in the morning, and you KNOW how depression affects your ability to control your diabetes. Your knowledge of your experiences vastly transcends mine, and yet you have patiently shared with me your motivations, uncertainties, triumphs, and failures. You have gifted me with the most precious reward – a smile – after I do something as simple as show you how to use a mobile fitness app. So even though I may never completely understand what you are going through, you constantly inspire me to try.

Throughout my service year, I have learned many things, but especially this: everybody’s pain is valid. The hardships people face are unique and difficult to fully understand. No two people with diabetes have had the same experiences and should not be treated as such. I am so grateful for the opportunity to provide individualized care and to get to know so many of you in my short, but memorable, time with AmeriCorps. As I continue my journey towards a career in medicine, I want to promise you a few things. I promise to always meet you where you are at. I promise to let compassion, patience, and respect serve as my foundation. Finally, I promise to help you find your light at the end of the tunnel and to be there, listening, when you feel you do not have one.

Thank you for all that you have taught me and will continue to teach me.

Sincerely,

Amy Xie